Acts 2:1-13
I have a book that is a fun satire to read. The title of the book is Western Theology by Wes Seeliger. The book is a satire about Christianity. Seeliger makes the distinction between what he calls “settler Christianity” and “pioneer Christianity.” Seeliger writes in the introduction:
The settler spirit is my picture of unfaith: the closed life. The settler is the unadventuresome soul who dies by inches in his cast iron world.
The pioneer spirit is my picture of faith: the open life. The pioneer is the man who is totally alive. He stakes his life on promises. He is responsive to demands. He is willing to pack up and take off for parts unknown. He lives with the humility of a man constantly in danger, and the joy of a man who sleeps under the stars and sees a new horizon each morning.
Seeliger, for example, says in Settler theology, the church is like the courthouse where the doormat out front says, “Wipe Feet Before Entering.” The courthouse, for the Settlers is a symbol of law and order, tradition and stability, but most important, security.
But in Pioneer theology the church is the covered wagon, with a sign on the side that says, “Renewal or Bust.” The covered wagon is always on the move, is not comfortable or safe, and never hesitates to move into new and hostile territory.
So this is what Seeliger does in his book, marking the difference between what we believe in Christian theology in a creative and fresh way.
The part of this book that I’d like to highlight is how Seeliger describes who the Holy Spirit is in Settler theology vs. Pioneer theology. Maybe his clever satire will help you understand just a little more about what we believe about the Holy Spirit, as we celebrate Pentecost this morning.
In Settler theology the Holy Spirit is Miss Dove, the Saloon Girl. She runs the Olive Branch Saloon. She could charm the bumps off a wart hog. Her dancing costumes brighten drab Settler City.
The Olive Branch Saloon is right next door to the Sheriff’s office. (In Settler Theology, Jesus is the sheriff who keeps law and order. In Pioneer Theology, Jesus is the trail boss, who keeps everyone moving in the right direction.) The Olive Branch is always dark inside. Candlelight completes the warm, cozy, interior.
Miss Dove serves warm milk and the nonalcoholic kind of whiskey. Folks love Miss Dove. She has a good word for everyone. She listens to tales of woe by the hour, but from her is never heard a discouraging word. She tells folks to think positively, to look for the silver lining.
The Olive Branch is the settler’s favorite hangout. They go there when life gets dull, or when they feel lonely. Miss Dove tickles them under the chin and makes everything OK again. That’s her job. To comfort the settlers and help them forget their troubles.
Miss Dove gives a special performance each Sunday night. How the settlers look forward to it! With everyone seated, the saloon lights go down. A hush falls over the audience. Then the announcer, in his smooth voice says: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Olive Branch proudly presents the nightingale of Settler City—Miss Dove, the comforter.
Miss Dove slowly lifts her eyes and begins her sweet song:
(Tune: “Rock of Ages”)
Listen while I sing this tune
In the Olive Branch Saloon
With the candles burning low
I will peace of mind bestow
Put your trust in sweet Miss Dove
While you drink in all this love.
Raise your hands up in the air
Close your eyes and say a prayer
Let your worries fall away
Turn your dark night into day
Don’t be troubled or cast down
Trust the Sheriff of this town.
As the lights go up, there’s not a dry eye in the Olive Branch. Each settler has received a blessing. They walk home in silence. The bright stars shine, each in its own place. And the settlers’ hearts are strangely warmed by the thought that in the Mayor’s scheme of things, law and order reign supreme.
In Pioneer Theology the Holy Spirit is the Buffalo Hunter. The pioneers call him Wild Red. “Wild” because no one can tell what he’ll do next. “Red” because he has flaming red hair.
Wild Red is awesome. He’s huge. The strongest guy around. His old buffalo-hide clothes smell like the creature that last wore ‘em. Red takes a bath in the creek at least once a month, whether he needs it or not.
There isn’t much he can’t do. He can hit a spittoon at 20 paces. He can shoot the eye out of the ace of spades. He can break a buffalo without once dusting his pants.
Tough? An eight-foot diamond-back once bit Old Red. Nothing could be done to save the poor snake. It died. Red ate barbecued rattler that night. The Buffalo Hunter is mighty wild, mighty tough. Tame him? Never!
Wild Red has a weird sense of humor. He is always pulling something on somebody. At night, when it’s quiet in camp and the pioneers are trying to sleep, Red creeps up and gives someone the hotfoot. There’s no rest when he’s around.
The settlers live in mortal dread of Red. Wild Red can’t resist shaking up the settlers. Sometimes he sneaks up on them. Other times he rides full speed ahead into town on his half-tame buffalo named Pentecost. Red and Pentecost are quite a pair. With Pentecost snortin’ and runnin’ full blast and Red hollerin’ like a madman, who can blame the settlers for being scared.
The Buffalo Hunter’s favorite prank is to sneak up on the settlers while they’re having an ice cream party. Each Sunday morning at precisely 11 o’clock, the settlers have an ice cream party on the courthouse lawn. Wild Red ties Pentecost out of sight, then sneaks up behind one of the oak trees. When everyone is real quiet, thinking about the great ice cream party in the sky, Red fires a blast from his big, black buffalo gun. The tremendous explosion shakes the courthouse. The settlers jump out of their skin. Women scream. Dogs bark. The Mayor (God in settler theology) is roused from his nap.
One day he almost went too far. He rode old Pentecost right into the Olive Branch Saloon. The poor settlers were scared silly. Miss Dove was swinging from a chandelier, screaming for the Sheriff. While Pentecost was turning over the tables, Wild Red blasted a few milk bottles and rode out, right through the plate glass window. No one rightly knows where the Sheriff was during the commotion, but rumor has it he was hiding under his desk.
At night, Red likes to sit around singing in his deep voice and playing his squeeze box. His song stirs the pioneers.
(Tune: “Onward Christian Soldiers”)
Back in Old Jerusalem
Lived a guy named Paul
Hog-tied like a dogie
To the Hebrew law,
Then a bolt from heaven
Came to set him right
Now he dines with Gentiles
Eatin’ pork on Friday night.
Refrain: I’m the buffalo hunter
Riding through this land
With my big black shotgun
Firmly in my hand.
So come on you settlers
Pack up all your gear
Leave your stuffy city
Be a pioneer
Hear the Trail Boss calling
March at his command
New life can be yours if you will
Get up off your can.
Refrain: I’m the buffalo hunter
Riding through this land
With my big black shotgun
Firmly in my hand.
As you ponder which of these two images of the Holy Spirit you like best (and there are many more images of the Holy Spirit in Scripture) it might do us well to look at at least one place in Scripture where the Holy Spirit is described. I think it will help blend the two images from Seeliger’s book.
It is in Genesis, in the opening statements of the creation story, where it says, "God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss." The Graber family has a brooding hen that just wants to sit on eggs. They finally got a couple of fertile duck eggs for the hen to "brood" upon. They recently hatched and the hen now has a couple of quacking ducks following her around. The hen needed some prodigy to brood over, to protect and nurture.
So there is this brooding nature of the Holy Spirit described from the opening verses of the Bible. John Calvin, in The Institutes of the Christian Religion, wrote, "...but that even before this beauty (of the world) existed the Spirit was at work cherishing the confused mass." Calvin equates the Spirit's brooding nature with "cherishing"--even when the world was a "confused mass."
There are parts of Miss Dove and the Buffalo Hunter in this image for the Holy Spirit. Certainly Miss Dove is the nurturing, cherishing aspect of the Holy Spirit. And certainly the Buffalo Hunter is the brooding, protective aspect of the Holy Spirit, especially in a chaotic world.
When you are at your most confused, it's nice to know that the Holy Spirit of God is brooding over you, letting you know that no matter how much you become torn up inside, or your world gets turned upside down, you are cherished.
And also, when you have had your back pushed up against the wall, and the world is inching closer and closer with its hot stinking breath, that the protector--the Buffalo Hunter--side of the Holy Spirit is aroused to full height and stands between you and that wild world with His shotgun in hand.
Even though Seeliger, in his Western Theology book would have us decide between the Miss Dove side of the Holy Spirit, or the Buffalo Hunter side of the Holy Spirit, certainly the Spirit is large enough and complex enough to be both. That’s what is great about the Holy Spirit—to be what we need, when we need it.
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