Take Two Aspirin and Call Me In The Morning

"Take Two Aspirin and Call Me In The Morning"

John 5:1-9a

Luke 5:27-32

"Take Two Aspirin And Call Me In The Morning"

John 5:1-9a; Luke 5:27-32

A doctor came in and asked the patient, "Do you have any aches or pains this morning?"

"Yes, doctor," said the patient.  "It hurts me to breathe.  In fact, the only trouble I have now seems to be with my breathing."

"All right," said the doctor, "I'll give you some that that will stop that."

A doctor was talking to a new patient the other day.  In great alarm, the patient mentioned a rare and deadly disease of the liver and claimed to be suffering from it.

"Nonsense!" protested the doctor.  "You aren't suffering from that.  In fact, you wouldn't know whether you had it or not.  It is a disease which gives no discomfort at all."

"That's just it!" gasped the patient.  "My last doctor told me that.  And that's how I know I have it--I feel great!"

In the doctor's office, the patient asked, "Just how much are you going to charge me for this operation?"

"$10,000," the surgeon said blankly.

"Well," said the patient, "how about if I give you $50 and you just touch up the x-rays?"

When we go to the doctor, because of some ache or pain, we may get all nervous and anxious.  What if it's something serious?  We want to hear two things from our doctor:  1) it's not serious; and, 2) it's treatable.  In other words, we are going to be OK.  We don't want the doctor to look at our x-rays or test results and say something like, "Hmmmmm."  Or worse, "Oh, oh."

Usually, the whole trip-to-the-doctor thing follows a general pattern.

First, we feel some kind of symptom.  Something aches or hurts.  Or there is the sense that something is just not right.  Or you've fallen and you can't get up.  You have to feel something is wrong before you even think about going to the doctor.

For the lame man in this story in John 5, the symptoms were obvious--he had been sick or paralyzed or lame for 38 years.  The actual word that John used to describe the man is "weakness."  It obviously covered a wide range of meanings, including sicknesses, lameness, or even sin.  So the man had some sort of weakness that was chronic.

There there were the Pharisees in Luke 5.  They also had a weakness, but were oblivious to its symptoms.  Up to the point of talking with Jesus, they were out-to-lunch concerning what "weakness" they themselves were dealing with.

So the first step in dealing with illness is simply recognizing some symptom.  Something isn't right.  But, as Jesus pointed out, there are some forms of weakness that are insidious and may be unrecognized by the person.

The second step is when we go to the doctor.  We ask the doctor to diagnose what it is that's making us feel bad.  What are the symptoms?  Where are they located?  What could be causing them?  If you're having chest pains that are also causing pain down your left arm, it's probably not appendicitis.  Other symptoms are not as clear.  For example, a high fever and chills could be an infection, but where is the infection and what's causing it?

For the lame man in John 5, the cause of the "weakness" is not clear.  At least it's not described with any detail.  In that day and culture, a person with signs of physical weakness (lame, crippled, or paralyzed) as well as illness of any kind, was believed to be cause by a spiritual condition.  The person was sick because they were being punished by God.  Or they were sick because they were demon possessed.

The lame man probably had some kind of illness that resulted in his inability to walk.  But the spiritual interpretation put on the symptoms created a certain social and religious stigma for the man.  Thus, the diagnosis was done not only by a physician, but also by a Jewish priest.  When a person got well, they'd have to go back to the priest for an "all-clear" diagnosis.

For the Pharisee's in Luke 5, they hadn't seen a physician because they didn't see any symptoms.  They didn't recognize any weaknesses.  They didn't think they needed a diagnosis, because they didn't see anything wrong with themselves.

The reason we go to a doctor, especially when we think there's something terribly wrong with us, is because they have been trained in diagnosis.  They have the knowledge and the tools it takes to give us a name for the symptoms we are experiencing.  Once we know the name of what we're dealing with, there's a certain level of relief.  The physician is the one we go to because she knows the names.

In Luke 5, Jesus links himself to the work of a physician.  "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick?" He asks.  "I'm here for the sick," Jesus said, in effect.  He is also making a slam against the Priests, who think they are the best at diagnosing weaknesses.  What does Jesus' question force the Priests to question about themselves?  It forces them to examine their own vocation as "physician/healers."  If the priests are giving people the wrong diagnosis to the symptoms, they are not only doing the person no good, they may be making everything worse.

The obvious answer to Jesus' question is:  the sick are the ones who need a physician.  If that is so, then why--according to Jesus' line of questioning--are there so many people showing signs of "weaknesses"?  Why aren't they being attended to?  Who's really being the physician here, Jesus or the priests?  And if the priests aren't, what are they doing?  Who are they attending to?  The healthy?  Are they only diagnosing the health of the healthy?

In John 5, Jesus' diagnosis, or at least part of it, seems to be that the man with the 38 year old weakness may not want to get well.  It's easier being sick--being weak.  People carry you around.  Not much is expected of you.  Being sick/weak can be an easy and cushy life.

It has been proven that there is a significant drop in mental illness during wartime, or during some other national crisis, such as the Depression, or 9/11.  The study stated that there needs to be enough leisure time to spawn mental illness and other forms of weakness.  The man by the pool had 38 years of leisure.  So, Jesus' diagnosis is, "Leisure time/sick time is over; is that what you really want?"  What if the man answered Jesus' question, "No, I don't want to get well?"  My guess is Jesus would have just left him there and done nothing for him.

The third stage in dealing with illness/weakness is accepting the diagnosis of the physician.  Sometimes the doctor only confirms what we already know:  You're pregnant; your leg is broken; you had a heart attack; you have a virus."  Other times we may get told news we didn't expect or didn't want to hear:  There's a lump; high blood pressure; or, even, you eat too much and don't exercise enough."

Two men were talking.  The first guy said, "My doctor told me to play golf for my health."

"Well, what if you already play golf?" the second guy asked.  

"He tells you to stop."

Or there was the guy who went in for his annual physical.  He had a reputation for being a bit wild.  As he put his shirt back on, the man asked, "Well, Doc, do I have to give up wine, women, and song?"

"Not exactly," said the doctor.  "You can still sing all you want."

We have become big on getting second opinions of a diagnosis, and not just for insurance purposes.  It's also because it's a form of denial about the original diagnosis.  We don't want to accept it, so we hope we can find some other doctor to tell us something we'd rather hear.

Or, like the man by the pool in John 5, we make elaborate excuses rather than accept the facts of the diagnosis.  "I don't think you really want to be healed," Jesus said to the man.

"No, it's not that," the man replied.  "It's just that there's this angel that stirs the water every once in a while.  The first one in after the water's been stirred, gets healed.  I never make it.  I'm too weak.  I can't do it by myself.  No one helps me into the water.  So I just get someone to carry me here each day, waiting for another chance."

The Pharisees in Luke 5 didn't like Jesus' diagnosis either.  In fact, it says they were "greatly offended."  When we go to Jesus for help, we need to be ready to accept his diagnosis.  Jesus is going to be straight up with us and tell us exactly what our problem is.  If we're not ready or willing to hear it, then we may not, like the lame man by the pool, be ready to become well, either.

The last two stages of dealing with some sort of ailment go together.  Once the problem has been discovered, once we have gone to the doctor, once the doctor has diagnosed the illness or injury, and once we have accepted that diagnosis, then comes the prescribed treatment.  You may get medicine.  You may need surgery.  You may need physical therapy.  The doctor will prescribe some kind of treatment.

And then you have to accept and do the treatment.  It's no use going all that way, getting medicine that will aid your healing, and then not take it.  To the lame man by the pool, Jesus gave the prescription:  "Get up, take your bedroll, start walking."

Imagine a pause at that point.  Imagine what was going through the lame man's mind during that pause.  "I've done everything I could to get better.  I'm even sitting here by the pool waiting patiently--38 years patiently--for the miracle.  That's all that's left to me.  And here comes this guy, ragging on me because he's not sure I really want to get well.  What does he know about what I've been through?  I see him for maybe 20 seconds and he tells me all I have to do is get up and start walking!?  What kind of prescription is that?  And what kind of quack would tell me to do such a thing?"

But, still, at that moment, the man must decide if he will accept Jesus' prescription or not.  He has to decide if he will get up and try what Jesus was asking or not.  He may have all sorts of reasons why he shouldn't.  They all may sound like good reasons.  But he still has to decide if he's going to stand up and accept Jesus' word.  Only then will he find out if Jesus knows what he's doing or if he is some kind of quack.  Only if he does what Jesus asks, will he know.

Jesus said to the Pharisees in Luke 5 that he is the doctor--he is the one healing people inside and out.  He is the one who can change your life.  He is the one who can heal you.  The Pharisees weren't convinced.  Nor did they let Jesus try.  They only went away greatly offended.  But for them, like the lame man, they needed to accept Jesus' diagnosis.  They needed to accept Jesus' prescription and do what he asked.  But I guess it's kind of hard when you don't think there's anything wrong with you in the first place.

A wife said to her husband, "If you don't stop overdoing it, you're going to get an ulcer or have a heart attack."

The husband paused for a moment and said, "You mean I get a choice!?"

I don't know if we have a choice about the ailments that come our way.  I think sometimes we do.  But in terms of the cure or the treatment, that is entirely our choice.  How we deal with the ailment is our choice.  Jesus said he is available when we are feeling weak.  When we have been infected by sin.  When we feel life is out of control.  When we lie down and just don't feel like getting up--for 38 years.  Jesus is available.  If you'll let him.