The Winning Smile

"The Winning Smile"
Exodus 32:1-14


“We’ve got to get him back down there,” God whispered to the angel Michael.
“But how?” pleaded the frustrated angel.  “He’s been up on this mountain far too long.  I have tried everything.”
“I think I have an idea,” God murmured, mostly to himself.  Then God spoke quietly to Michael for quite some time.  Finally, the angel nodded his head and disappeared.

God cleared his voice, as he approached Moses.  Moses turned his head and said, “Oh; Hi, God.  I was just sitting here enjoying the view.”
“But there isn’t any view, Moses,” God retorted.  “Not with this thick cloud covering everything.”
“Exactly,” said Moses, staring off into the fog.  “I can’t see a thing.  No valley, no tents, and best of all, no people.  It’s the best view there is.  No wonder you like being God so much--you never have to see any people.  Just an occasional visitor like me.”
“And some times that’s even too much,” God thought to himself.  “You’ve still got the two stone tablets, don’t you?” God finally asked Moses after a brief silence.
“Oh, yes.  I put them down the hill a ways and piled a bunch of rocks over the top of them so no one would find them.”
“You still realize, don’t you, that I want those words told to the people,” God hinted.  “There’s no use having words if no one knows what they are and that they’re my words.”
“It wouldn’t matter,” Moses said a little under his breath.
“What was that?” God asked.
“I said, ‘It wouldn’t matter.’  You could give those people a whole Bible full of words, or just one word for that matter, and it wouldn’t be followed.”
“I know,” said God.  “I already tried that with a tree a long time ago.”
“A tree?”
“Oh, it’s a long story.  I’ll give you the one stone tablet version.  The first man and the first woman I made were in this beautiful garden.  I called it Eden.  They had everything they needed.  One of the things they needed was a little tension.  I created tension; did you know that?”
Moses nodded his head a little bit too vigorously in the affirmative.
“Anyway,” continued God, “I gave them a little tension by putting a tree in that garden and told them not to eat the fruit on the tree.  They could have fruit from any other tree except that one.”
“What kind of tree was it?” asked Moses.
“Everyone thinks it was an apple tree,” replied God.  “But actually, apple trees are one of my favorites.  The kind of tree it really was, was…”  At this point God looked to the right and to the left and behind him.  And Moses looked around, mimicking God.  God said, quietly, “...kumquat.”
“Kumquat!” Moses shouted.
“Shhhhhh,” hushed God waving his hands.
“Who would want to eat one of those, anyway?”
“Well, duh,” said God.  “That’s what I thought, too.  But guess which tree was the first one the man and woman headed for?  And the funniest part of it was,” God continued, “was that the first man and woman thought the fruit looked tasty to eat.  You should have seen their faces when they bit into one of the kumquats!  Absolutely hilarious!  Everything went sour after that,” God said a little more seriously.
“Of course,” said Moses understanding completely.  “That’s exactly what I’m saying.  I might as well just leave those two stone tablets under that pile of rocks.  That’s what the people will do with them anyway.  They’ll just stick them in some special box, or cover them with leather thinking they’ve done something wonderful with them, but then go and forget about them.  They don’t want your words; they just want to do what they want to do and not have anybody tell them anything different.  This world would have been a lot better off if you hadn’t made people.”
“Hmmm,” God hmmmed.  In his best Rogerian therapy voice, God said, “So you don’t think people want new words?  Especially MY new words?”
“Exactly.”
“And you feel frustrated about that.”
“Frustrated doesn’t even begin to touch it,” Moses blasted.  “Do you have any idea what it’s like trying to lead these people?  I say, ‘north,’ and they say, ‘south.’  I say, ‘up,’ and they say, ‘down.’  I say, ‘go,’ and they say, ‘stay.’  I say, ‘forward,’ they say ‘backwards.’ I say, “New Book of Order,” they say, ‘Old Book of Order.’”  Moses paused, and then said, “I know you’re trying to do a new thing, here, God.  But these people wouldn’t know a new thing if you etched it in stone and smacked them up the side of the head with it.”
“Well, uh, that’s kind of what I had in mind,” God said.
“I know,” said Moses.  “That’s why those stone tablets are down there underneath all those rocks.  It’s not going to work.  These people don’t want a new thing.  I’m just saying.”  Moses blew out some steam and God could see the cloud Moses’ exhaled breath had made as it floated by.
“It can be aggravating sometimes, can’t it,” God sighed.
“‘Sometimes!’  How about ALL the time!” Moses retorted.
“It can’t be bad all the time,” said God.  “There must be some times when things are going well.”
“Well, let me see,” Moses began sarcastically.  “Let me think for a while and see if I can come up with a good time.  I’m done.  There haven’t been any.”
“But…”
“But, nothing,” Moses interrupted.  “How would you know how I felt?  How do you know what it’s like to have to lead those people down there?  You’re God, for God’s sake!”
“You don’t need to remind me of that fact, Moses.  Believe me, there are days I wish I was somebody else.  And I think this is going to be one of those days.”
After a brief silence, Moses said, “Well, I don’t care what you say.  I’m not going back down there.  I’m staying up here.  I like it here.  It’s, it’s spiritual up here, but not religious.  It’s calm.  I feel more devout up here.  More worshipful.  Down there is disorder.  It’s messy.  Unpredictable in a scary way.  I barely have time to utter a word your way, and usually it’s not an utter, it’s a mutter.  Up here is heaven.  Down there is hell.”
God just stayed in his crouched position next to Moses, staring off into the shroud and allowing Moses to ventilate.
“They don’t deserve you, God,” Moses continued.  “They don’t deserve me.  They don’t appreciate me for who I am.  As long as I’m doing all the work and shoulder most of the responsibility they think I’m great.  But what if I quit?  What if I never came back down off this blessed mountain?  Or what if I came back and just said, ‘I quit.  You all can have it.  I’m just one of the travelers now.  Somebody else gets to be in charge,’ and went off and took a nap in my tent.  Would they appreciate me then?  I don’t think so.”
“If you quit,” God interjected in a mock serious tone, “I’d have to take back your magic staff.  No more snake tricks or dividing the sea miracles.”
“Oh, no; you can’t take back my staff.  Take anything but that.”
“Sorry, it goes with the job.”  God knew how much Moses liked technology toys in his ministry.
“Well, if that’s the way it’s got to be.  Here.”  Moses handed over his staff without looking at it.  God took it, then gave it back to him.
“Ah, you can have it back.  It won’t do anything for you anymore, except hold you up or whack a stubborn mule.”  Moses took it back and they were both silent for a long time.

“You miss them, don’t you?” God finally stated more than asked.
“Hello; is anybody home in there?  Wake up, God,” Moses mocked.  “Haven’t you been listening to the words coming out of my mouth?  I’m fed up.  I’ve had enough.  They don’t care.  They won’t change.  You said it yourself--it’s been like this from the beginning.  Who am I trying to fool by thinking I can make a difference?  What a deluded egomaniac I’ve been. Miss them!?  No way.  I’m staying here.  You better get used to me.”

Just then, the angel Michael appeared before God.  “I’m afraid I have some good news and some bad news, sir.”
“What is it?” God demanded, still looking at Moses.
Michael looked at Moses, and said he should speak to God in private.  Moses said he got the idea and began to saunter off with his staff.  “The good news, sir, is that Aaron has taken up sculpting.  The bad news is that he’s got everyone worshipping his sculpture.”
“What!?” God bellowed so loud it sounded like a thunder clap.  “What!?” God thundered again.  “He did what!?  They are doing what!?”
“I’m afraid it’s true, sir.”
Moses came running back to the angel and God and said, “What’s going on?  Something’s happened down there hasn’t it?  I just know it.  You’ve got to tell me.”
“It appears your brother, Aaron, got the idea in his head to collect everyone’s gold jewelry, melted it down, sculpted a gold bull out of it, and has everyone worshipping it!  He evidently preached some sermon to them convincing them it was the gold bull that lead them out of Egypt and saved them from slavery.”
“What!?” Moses thundered.  “He did what!?  He said that!?”  God and the angel nodded in unison.  “And they went along with that crock of crap!?”  God and the angel nodded again.  “Damn that Aaron.  How could he?  I’m the one who led them out of Egypt--well, you and I, God.  I mean, I have invested myself in those people.  How could they do this now?  How could they have gotten so turned around?”
“I wonder the same thing, Moses,” God said.  “This time they’ve gone and twisted my knickers a bit too tightly.  You’re right, Moses.  You’ve been right all along.  I’m through with them, too.  So, I know you’ll agree with my decision to wipe them out.  I’m just going to wipe the old slate clean and start over.  We’ll find you a good wife somewhere and you and she will be my new starting point.  The rest of those stiff-necked people are going to be toast when I’m through with them.  Get the marshmallows out, Moses; there’s going to be a bonfire.  Stand back, it’s barbecue time!”
“Wait!” shouted Moses.  “You just can’t do that to all those people.  Yeah, they’re stubborn.  Yes, they do what they want and don’t pay attention to you or me.  But there’s too much history between you and them.  There’s some good folks there who have their hearts in the right place.  You can’t take them out with all the rest.  They’re just misguided.  Aaron’s not the man for the job.  He’s got all these New Age ideas about a cafeteria religion, with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.   The people are suckers for his Generation Y ideas.  They need someone more solid.  With more backbone.”
Moses was walking and talking.  He headed for a pile of rocks and began unpiling them, throwing them in every direction.  “I’ll take these stone tablets with your new words on them if you want.  But what they really need is a person.  A leader.  Someone they can follow.  Someone who’s not afraid to tell them ‘what for,’ when it’s necessary.   Someone who can stand up to the heat and not back down.  They need someone who can give them direction and who knows what direction they need to be heading.  These people need a personal leader they know cares about them like a shepherd; someone who knows what worship really is, like a priest; and someone who can say ‘no’ to all their silly schemes, like a prophet.”
Moses finally had moved all the rocks from the two stone tablets, and had them in his arms.  “They need a leader who has a vision, and who can plant that vision in their hearts.  They need me.  Please, God; don’t fry these people yet.  Give me another chance.  I can do it.  I know I can.  Just don’t wipe them out.  Will you promise me that?”
“Well…” God said with a pondering tone and look.
“Please,” Moses continued to plead.  “I find that I really do care about what happens to these people.  I feel responsible for them.  Just give me one more chance.”
“All right,” God exhaled.  “Just one more chance.”
“YES!” Moses fist pumped, almost dropping the stone tablets.

Before God could think twice about his decision, Moses turned and was almost running down the mountain.  With his back to God, he was smiling to himself a winning smile because he had been able to change God’s mind.
As they stood and watched Moses hastening down the mountain, out of the shrouding mist and into the light of day, the angel, Michael, leaned over to God and said, “Your plan worked perfectly.”
“Thanks,” God said through his winning smile.