The Wedding Wait Dance

"The Wedding Wait Dance"
Matthew 25:1-13

Weddings.  Ugh.  I’ve always said that I’d much rather do a funeral than a wedding.  There doesn’t seem to be any other kind of event than a wedding where Murphy’s law applies most often:  If something can go wrong it will.

The thing that’s irksome to me about weddings is that couples want to get married in a church, but have no idea why.  When I ask the “why” question, the most usual answer I get is, “That’s where a wedding is supposed to be, isn’t it?”  But they don't have an answer as to why weddings are held in churches.

And another thing that’s irksome (I have a whole list of irksome wedding things—sorry Shane and Erika) is that usually someone besides the bride and groom hijacks all the wedding planning.  Do you remember that book from quite a while ago, Everything I Learned, I Learned In Kindergarten.  Robert Fulgham, the guy who wrote it is a minister.  One of the essays was about a wedding he did where the mother-of-the-bride took over everything.  Come the day of the wedding, something went wrong that delayed the start of the wedding.  While the bride was waiting, she was snacking on reception food and glasses of champagne.  By the time the wedding processional started, the bride was green from all the food and alcohol she had consumed.  Just as she got to the front of the church, she turned to her mother, smiled awkwardly, and threw up all over her.

So it’s more than a bit disconcerting to me, that here, at the end of his life, at the time where Jesus was trying to make sure people got it, he chose this image of an emotionally laden wedding event to tell about the kingdom of God.  I think Kingdom of God...wedding...wedding...kingdom of God...and my mind just goes to a very dark place.

At the start of the gospel of John, the first “sign” Jesus did was at a wedding.  And Murphy’s Law was operating there as well, since they ran out of wine.  If something can go wrong, it does.  Jesus had to bail the wedding host out by turning water into wine.  You think that Jesus would have gotten it, that weddings may not have been the best symbol for the Kingdom of God.  But evidently not, because here we are, near the end of his ministry, he is talking about the Kingdom of God, and what does he liken the Kingdom to?  Weddings.

Here’s what happened at weddings in Jesus’ day.  The guests would all get together at the home of the bride.  If the bride and groom were from a small town or village, everyone would be invited.  It was the bride's parents job to entertain all these people while they waited for the groom to show up.  The groom, not the bride, was the most important person at a Middle Eastern wedding.

When the groom showed up, all the guests lit lamps, or torches, and in a parade-like procession, walked to the groom’s home where his parents were waiting to start the ceremony.  After the ceremony there would be a great banquet that would go on for days.

In Jesus’ parable here in Matthew 25, Murphy’s law strikes again:  the groom is delayed several hours.  Even though there is an expected timeline for these kinds of events, those expectations are irritatingly dashed by some kind of delay by the groom.  We aren’t told in the parable what caused the delay.  We Americans read that line in the parable and immediately bristle.

We hate delays.  We hate to wait.  We can’t stand it when:
—we are put on hold with a customer service representative named Achmed who lives in Pakistan;
—we are stopped at a highway construction site, and the pilot car is no where in sight;
—we are having to read all the magazines at the doctor’s office because they don’t seem to know how an appointment works;
—Amazon ran out of what you ordered, and it will take two whole days more to get what you want.

As a result, we value a more fast-paced world.  Faster communications, faster food, faster weight loss, faster job advancement, faster answers to prayer.  I read this week about a new phenomenon called, “speed yoga.” That sounds like one of those oxymoron’s.   But it might be fun to watch (mimic a speed yoga session).



I also read this week about a new movement called the Slow Revolution, or the Slow Movement.  It has sprung up in the last couple of years as a criticism and balance to the growing global addiction to the fastness of things.  Carl Honore, one of the voices of the Slow Revolution said, “...the world has become a giant buffet of things to do, consume, experience—and we rush to have it all.”

Tiredness is a symptom of trying to take life at too fast a pace.

So is not engaging deeply in and with the people and events of your life, because you’re living too fast?  Think about that.  How deeply are you engaged with others and the things that happen in the now?  One of the statements that gave me pause to reflect, as I read more about this Slow Revolution, was this:  “Going too fast keeps you from (having) vivid memories.” Doesn’t that just slap you up the side of your head?  Taking life at too fast of a pace makes everything a surface experience.  Nothing sinks in.  There is no depth.  No time to fully experience.  No relaxing reflection.  No “vivid memories.”  Does that not strike you as sad, but true?

OK.  So what does all that have to do with Jesus’ parable?  The groom delayed arriving.  Which meant the guests were waiting.  At the bride’s parents home.  Who have to entertain all those waiting guests for hours.  Hours nobody signed up for.  Imagine the house full of guests are all Americans.  Impatient.  Checking their watches or smart phones every five minutes, wondering when this dog-and-pony show will be over so the real thing they came for can get started, so the ceremony can be over, so the reception can start, and the liquor starts flowing.  “C’mon!  Where’s the groom?  Let’s get this show on the road.  We have places to go, people to see!”

Now here’s the kicker.  Whenever Jesus told a parable about a wedding or a groom, the groom usually represented himself.  Oooh, snap.  Here we have a parable about the Kingdom of God and a groom and waiting.  So it’s not just a groom we’re waiting on.  It’s the very Kingdom of God and the very Savior Jesus.  The parable is forcing us to deal with our patience and our comfort level with waiting and delays, especially as those perceived delays involve God.  How long can we wait on God to arrive and act before we start grumbling?  How much do we build into our lives the readiness to wait on God, no matter how long it takes?  How do we act if we don't think God is showing up quickly enough to take care of what we want God to take care of?

That’s why the wise girls are let into the wedding celebration when the groom finally arrives.  They had extra oil for their lamps.  What does that mean?  It means they were prepared to wait.  It means they were willing to live their lives prepared for the groom's timeline, not theirs.

The foolish girls only brought enough oil for their lamps to last the limit of their own expectations.  If the groom didn’t come by the time their lamps ran out and their flames went out, too bad for the groom.  It’s his loss.  It means the unwise girls were more concerned about their own agenda, rather than the timing of the groom.

It’s all about timing.  And whose timing.  And what we do during the delay.  And if we are prepared for, and comfortable with waiting on God.  Like I said, Jesus didn’t give us any details about why the groom delayed so long.  It was evidently the grooms own business.  And the delay wasn’t contingent on the patience or impatience of the guests.

But I’m going to toss you an idea about the reason for the delay—those times you are waiting, and waiting, and waiting on God.  Remember I mentioned the “vivid memories”?  Maybe in your waiting, maybe in your test of patience, the Lord has one or two vivid memories he needs you to make.  But in order to pass those on to you, the Lord needs to get you to slow down from all the speed of life, all the surface living you’re doing, and get you to rest, to relax, to breathe, to even sleep (as the girls did in the parable), to reflect on that which will give you something—a vivid memory—you will never forget.  And it may have nothing to do with the thing you are waiting for during the delay.  The Lord, the Groom, only knows.

Then, when the Groom arrives, you will truly be ready to receive him, to go into the celebration with him, and smile like you’ve never smiled before.